November 11
A Double Standard for our sons
When my daughter, Quincy was born, I worried about raising a daughter in a world filled with so many negative messages about what it means to be a woman. I thought surely it would be easier to raise a son. After all, maleness is generally more valued. My opinion has changed however, since adopting our son, Baxter. What I have discovered is that the box that defines what it means to be a boy is much smaller. Recently I was shopping with Baxter for some new pajamas for Quincy. I was having him help me pick out the pajamas. He immediately chose a white pair covered with pink sparkly ballerinas. He loved them so much that he asked if he could get a pair too. There was no way I could say no to his adorable little face. At checkout, I asked the clerk to hand Baxter his pajamas because he was so excited about them. The clerk commented to me about how open-minded I was and that it certainly was ok for boys to like ballerina pajamas. Underlying message – boys don’t usually wear sparkly ballerinas. The first night the kids wore the pajamas, even my husband gave Baxter a little ribbing. It was meant to be light hearted, but he didn’t tease Quincy in the same way. Quincy can like dinosaurs, trucks or countless other stereotypical boy things and no one raises an eyebrow. But being a boy does not include liking pink, princess, ballerinas or mermaids. All things that Baxter currently loves. As women I feel that we have and are making great strides to expand the definition of what it means to be a woman. I am hopeful that we will be able to do the same for our sons.
New pajamas and a favorite doll
Beth’s first blog post!
This post has also appeared on http://www.livingmyMoMent.com
This was a great blog post, Beth!
How utterly adorable! I was so happy to see your post. I’ve just been having similar thoughts about my son, who is almost 2 years old. I am pregnant with our second baby and want to get our son a baby doll, so he can have a baby to practice with. I have to admit, that I’ve totally hesitated in buying him a doll even though I’d have no trouble buying a “boy toy” for a little girl. I’ll have to work on that.
Thanks for this - I’m expecting my first (I feel that it’s a boy), and with both my babydaddy and
my life partner being men with many feminine leanings (cross-dressing, strong identification
with female sides of themselves), I want my little one to know he (if he is a he!) has a life that is
wide open to him to love whatever he loves and be however is right for him.
Wow! Your son is so cute. So lucky of you to have such an adorable son. Anyway, I adore you for being so understanding to what your children likes. But I think sometimes we should also take a look on what’s right or not stuff for them. Though I admire you for being so supportive.. Keep it up!